Reflections Essay – A Look back at the last 6 months

Reflections (of a 32 year old freshman)

    At thirty two, I had never attended college. It was always an intention, but as I graduated high school four more years of school was not high on my list of priorities. I secured a position in a local doctor's office and was quickly promoted to manager. When I moved, I sadly left my employment and worked as a temporary fill-in at multiple locations until I was referred to the title industry and began my career. I was in the title industry for twelve years and I loved the different positions I had in the company. The industry is a high-stress and high-demanding job, but thrilling at the same time.

    It wasn't until I fell in love and made a difficult choice to move further away that I had to take a hard look at driving almost two hours one way per day for a job I loved. I began combing the internet and newspaper for a new position and was sadly disappointed as I noted that every position required some sort of degree. My family was always suggesting going to college and getting my degree, but I didn't realize until I actually looked for a different career closer to my new home that I grasped just how important a degree was. I am incredibly marketable in the title industry and that alone.

    I applied to college at Purdue North Central on a bright and sunny Saturday afternoon as I visited my father in Grand Haven, Michigan. I was elated that I had taken this first step, but at the same time bittersweet in that if it worked out, I would have to leave the job I loved. I was overjoyed to receive my acceptance letter and settled in for the long wait for Financial Aid. As a person from the customer service world, waiting for Financial Aid is torture! If I had made any prospective customer of mine wait three months for an answer, I wouldn't have had any customers! It wasn't until the second week in November, a week after my father unexpectedly died, that I received the call from Financial Aid that my award information was in and it would be enough to cover my college expenses.

    I was delighted that I would be able to attend college, though I dreaded handing in my notice. I loved my job and my co-workers, the colleagues with whom I had worked and had built friendships with over the years. This was a major decision on my part and I knew it would shock those surrounding me in the business world. But when I broke the news, everyone amazed me with their support and I retain my friendships through social networking.

    As I began my first semester in college, I was incredibly daunted by English 101. I haven't written other than out of necessity for years. I would start a journal one day, write in it a couple of days, then never again. I proficiently emailed on a business level throughout my career. I can speedily text and talk at the same time. I don't remember any time that I wrote for enjoyment. I do have a poor memory, so maybe that's why I don't recall any love and joy for writing. Instead, I am an avid reader, I adore books and one of my dreams is to own a small used and new bookstore in the Michigan City area. Being surrounded by books would be a dream come true!

    As I stared at the syllabus and the essays required in English 101, my anxiety kicked into high gear. I was not comfortable writing. I laughingly remember that when I tested for English placement at the Student Success Center, I almost had a mini-heart attack when they told me the placement essay needed to be two pages! I had practiced at home with essay questions I had found on the internet and I think I had five paragraphs; introduction, two for the body and conclusion.

    Our first assignment was the Literacy Narrative and I could not wrap my mind around one instance that had changed me into the reader/writer I am today. I think it created a block and sent me in the wrong direction initially. Once we peer reviewed our essay I realized the wrong turn I had taken. I was rather flummoxed on re-writing the paper and then inspiration struck. As I sat down to write about the day my father died, and the journals his girlfriend had given me that were written by my grandmother, the words flew off my fingers and onto the screen. I had plenty to work with after I was finished writing the first draft.

The first draft was me—emotionally raw from writing of a time not that long ago. A time I think of daily with love and regret. I turned to trusted friends and family for assistance in cutting the words down as I had bypassed the word count. That was rough. I wanted memories of my father in the story, vivid memories I recalled as if they were yesterday, and fought to keep them in until I came to the realization they had to go to obtain the required word count. The Literacy Narrative I wrote is my favorite paper. It is, by far, the best I have ever written. I often wish that I didn't compare my future papers with my first. Everything in comparison seems just not quite as good.

    I was initially thrilled to write our second paper, a movie review, though now I wonder why. It was a difficult paper for me to write. The biggest struggle I faced was properly summarizing. I would begin summarizing the movie and found myself a page in just explaining the opening scene. My sister was a real godsend when she suggested I e-mail her why she should see the movie. After my shock and dismay that she hadn't yet seen Hairspray I began feverishly typing an e-mail to her as to why she should see the movie. It was exactly what I needed to push me in the right direction. I really loved this paper and showed it off to substantiate my love.

    When we received the rubric for the third essay, an Analytical and Response Essay we also received the next assignment, as they go hand in hand. I immediately gravitated to the Proposal Essay which was the fourth essay assignment. I knew instantaneously that I would be writing on gay marriage rights for the Proposal Essay. I am passionate regarding equality for all no matter sexual orientation, though I am not close to anyone that is gay. However, I do love Ellen DeGeneres and watching her talk show on a daily basis and the love she shares with Portia DeRossi inspired me to write on the controversial essay of Freedom to Marry.

    The third essay though, was a chore as soon as it began. I printed out all of Paul Goodman's essays and attempted to sit down and read them all before choosing which one I was to write about. That didn't work out. I find Paul Goodman very… hard to read. I was fascinated by the Banning Cars from Manhattan essay as I wildly imagined big cities such as New York or Chicago without traffic. I thought what a brilliant idea to remove cars—just think of the people that could be saved if emergency vehicles didn't have to wind through traffic in busy cities, the lack of pollution (or as much pollution), the Big 3 and their financial woes may never have happened. But then we discussed the essay in class and the "superblocks" were brought to my attention. That did it in for me. I thought, "What a mess that would be!" Giving even more people little fractions of power would never work! I chose to write on The Chance for Popular Culture, which is frankly the only other one that I fully understood. I also did not agree with what I feel is Paul Goodman's generalizations and I liked that I was able to combat that in my writing.

The third essay is the first time I've used sources since high school. Life was so much different in those days. We would go to the library and get books, encyclopedias or other reference material we could find in the actual library to use as source material for writing. Now the world wide web can be overwhelming in its vastness. I had a difficult time finding materials to source and properly back up my opinion and then my boyfriend found a website that was the answer I had been looking for. It provided a breakdown of the 1940's art and culture, the era in which Paul Goodman initially wrote The Chance for Popular Culture. It assisted me greatly and I am ever thankful for my boyfriend's brilliance in locating what I seemingly could not find.

Once I finished the third essay I thought I would jump right in to writing the Proposal Essay. I didn't. In fact I procrastinated, which is quite unlike me. I overwhelmed myself with books from the library and articles from databases regarding equality, same-sex marriage and the gay community. I went through articles with highlighter in hand frequently using it to mark sentences or paragraphs of interest.

When I sat down to type the Proposal Essay, I felt my ire rising at the prejudice and inequality the gay community faces every day. I didn't want to come across as angry or condescending to the reader and I really struggled with a solution to the ban on same-sex marriage. It seems so simple to me; the ban needs to be abolished. I really enjoyed writing the paper overall and felt comfortable using the sources. I feel my solution is sound and I hope that one day, sooner versus later, the ban will be abolished and all Americans are met with equality.

I have survived my first semester and found a love of writing I did not know I had. I blog regularly, following in my grandmother's footsteps of keeping a journal, albeit electronically. I no longer fear writing, though I believe that my best paper is the Literacy Narrative and that style is where I feel the most comfortable writing. I truly have a desire to have clean and succinct papers and my proofreaders, family and friends, I heavily rely on. I am so thankful that they have been here with me, holding my hand, throughout this semester. I am glad that I took the leap that brought me into the college world, I look forward to what the following years has in store for me. What's next? "I'm going to Disney World!"

    

Literacy Narrative – Grandma Jo

 

Wisconsin Memoirs

    I am a reader by nature, or more likely nurture. Books have played an important role in my life from my earliest memories. I have always admired the ability to write, however, for me it has always been a chore and not an act of love. That was the case until the day my life changed forever and subsequently, altered my views on writing. This is my story.

The phone rang at 6:51 on Saturday morning. But I missed it. Ten minutes later I woke up and saw the blinking red light on my cell. I pushed the hair out of my eyes and groggily looked at the missed call; it read Chuck Holmes. "My father called me at 6:51? What is he thinking?" I grumbled aloud as I called my voicemail to check it.

Instead of hearing my father's hearty voice in my voicemail, I heard Sandy's, my father's long time partner. Her voice was unintelligible in my voicemail. My heart clenched as I pressed the button to return the call. On the first ring, Sandy's son, Jamie, answered the phone. I heard Sandy in the background, sobbing. I felt my stomach drop. I wasn't ready to hear the words he said. "Your dad's dead," Jamie choked out. "That can't be," I said, "I just talked to him two days ago; he was fine."

I sat doubled over the edge of my bed, eyes clenched tight thinking that it's not true, it's not happening. Tears spilled from my eyes. "I'm so sorry, Cari," Sandy wailed as she got on the phone. Over and over I heard those words. I asked her to tell me what had happened. "Your dad died last night in his sleep," she said, "He was sick and I asked him to go to the doctor but he wouldn't. I told him to go. I'm so sorry, Cari. I need you to come right away. You are the only one that can make the arrangements."

I showered, tears mixing with the water that beat on my body. I slowly got dressed, feeling older than my age. I walked out my front door to the bright sun shining on my face. I flinched against the light and headed for my car. As I drove, I thought of all the unspoken questions I had for my Dad. He was the last one of his generation in his family. I had a scattering of cousins, but did not know how to reach them. I was troubled that I didn't know about our heritage, our family history and I wondered what I would be able to tell my children about their grandfather's family.

The day passed as a blur. As I gathered my things to leave, Sandy brought a small box out. I opened the box to find twelve bound Wisconsin calendars and one green notebook, well worn with age. I pulled one out and peered inside to find my grandmother's scrawling handwriting. My grandmother, Grandma Jo, a spitfire of a woman, had died three days after my thirteenth birthday. I recalled my Dad mentioning the journals to me, but I had never seen them until this day. I hugged the box to my chest and thanked Sandy. What a precious treasure she had given me.

    I woke early the next morning with a crick in my neck and what felt like sand in my eyes. Sleep had not come easily nor had it lasted more than what felt like a few minutes. Blurry-eyed, I started the coffee pot and meandered to the couch. I picked up the box of journals and stacked them in chronological order starting with the year 1966.

    On February 8, 1966 she wrote: Chuck got A or 96% in a test at Bloomingdale school. B in Math. They said it couldn't be done, but he did it. Keep up the good work Son. I laughed aloud and kept reading. I thought for a woman that didn't finish school she wrote quite well. Thursday, April 28, 1966 circled in red: Dad had 2^nd
stroke. Walked to Judy's and collapsed. May 8, 1966: Dad died at 9:30 pm at Lakeland Memorial Hospital. I empathized with how horrible she must have felt when her father passed. I understood her pain that day, more than I ever could have before.

It wasn't until I found my Grandfather's death certificate among my father's papers that I realized that the journal entry had referred to her ex-husband, and not her father. I wondered what it was like for her to be a divorced woman in an era where divorce was frowned upon. On October 9, 1966 another entry made me laugh out loud: Al got married. Poor Al. I didn't know Al, but I understood what Grandma Jo was saying. I've been married, too.

The next journal was written in 1971. A newspaper article dated April 11, 1971 read: Recent guests at the Harry Foster home were Mr. and Mrs. Robert Hambley, of White Cloud, Mr. and Mrs. Gerald Foster and family of Tinley Park, Ill. Ed Webb, Josephine Holmes and Mr. and Mrs. Charles Holmes of Pullman climaxed a very enjoyable day. I had forgotten until I read this that my father was previously married. On June 6, 1971 Grandma Jo wrote: Chuck came over said Him & Arlene parted. Left his clothes. I smiled. That seemed pretty typical. My Dad was always non-confrontational.

I knew that Grandma Jo was raised in Mercer, Wisconsin, but in the 1966 and 1971 journals she lived in Grand Junction, Michigan. In 1978, she was back in Mercer and with Auggie, the man I always thought of as a grandfather. Throughout the years there are numerous entries about him and their relationship. I learned how frustrated Grandma Jo would become with Auggie, as he frequently sneaked into town for hours to get drunk. She expressed surprise when he would stay home, for once, and in a few words could capture what must have been one hell of a fight. I laughed at the entries about Auggie pouting and refusing to talk to Grandma Jo for days before she traveled to visit my Dad or my Aunt Beverly. Although a grown man, he acted like a petulant child, not getting his way. He didn't want to go, but he didn't want Grandma Jo to go either.

The green notebook began on July 17, 1979 and I picked up Grandma Jo's narrative as she traveled by bus from Mercer to Three Rivers, Michigan. She wrote of several stops along the bus route; of how outrageous the prices were, especially the hot dogs. She even made a colorful remark about an African American that joined the trek at one stop or another.

On July 21, 1979, a napkin featuring the Peanuts characters reading Happy Birthday in big bold colors was taped to the page. The tape, now brown, barely held the napkin in place. On the napkin she had written: Carissa's party, Rome City, Ind. July 21, 1979. I was two years old. I turned the next page to see duck feathers barely held on by the old brown tape. The entry read: 3Rivers Park really pretty and nice. Over 300 ducks, threw them 2 loafs of bread. They had cute donkeys, 2 big owls,
raccoon, wolves, deer big & small. Carissa really enjoyed feeding the ducks. Duck feathers I found.

I clutched the notebook to my chest and sat in awe for a moment. She kept these items and took the time to tape them in her journal and write about time spent with me. A lump formed in my throat as I re-read these entries and gently touched the napkin and feathers that are now over thirty years old. I was raw with emotion from my father's unexpected death; having these journals and finding these entries comforted me immensely.

On May 24, 1980, she wrote of my brother being born. Another Charles Holmes. In 1981, she wrote of President Reagan being shot and two days later receiving her Veteran's check in the amount of $131.00. April 9, 1981, she received her state tax refund of $12.20 and wrote: Big deal. Midsummer 1981, I read about Aunt Betty getting sick, being hospitalized and having an operation. Betty stayed with Grandma Jo often; her husband, Jack, routinely beat her. Grandma Jo is clear as day on her feelings for Jack when he had Betty thrown into jail over a drunken brawl. On July 26, 1982: Betty was operated on again. July 30, 1982: Betty heard she had cancer, no cure. May 8, 1983: Betty passed away at Noon. Mother's day. She suffered but fought. I was by her side. Thank God. She was 45 years old. I pondered how Grandma Jo felt when she wrote that. Moreover, I wondered how she kept it together knowing that Betty was the third daughter that she had buried. Gloria was stillborn and Judy was murdered in the early 1970s.

I lost track of time as I enveloped myself in my grandmother's life. As I read through each year, I read of births and deaths; marriage and divorce; Life. She wrote about waiting for unemployment, state tax checks and looking for work. I contemplated how it must have been to live on a forty-two dollar paycheck per week. She wrote about time spent with family, birthday and Christmas presents, the cost of a muffler, the weather and her love of owls. I laughed when I saw how she recorded my Dad's birthday on the wrong day on different years. I always teased my Dad that he could never remember when my birthday was. It was obviously hereditary.

In April 1985, she wrote of needing to go to Milwaukee and hoping my cousin Kevin and his wife Liza could come and get her. The next day she penned: Kevin & Liza come.
Bev needs me. Bev back in hospital. May 9, 1985: Bev passed away. Did she feel helpless watching her children die? I live in fear of something happening to my kids. I go in their room at night to reassure myself they are breathing. If I have a bad dream I go in their room as a source of comfort.

The last journal was in 1989. Grandma Jo died on July 23, 1990. I think about her life in that last year, as I know she was sick for a long time. The cancer took its time to take her home. I loved my Grandma Jo, though I did not know her well. I visited with her several times before she died, but I was young and did not know about her or her life. I treasure the glimpses of her life and my family's history.

We only know of our history because of the stories that are passed down through generations. Without Grandma Jo's journals, an entire family history would have been lost with my father's passing. They inspired me to create a blog in which I diligently write. I now have the responsibility to continue my family legacy. I must keep memories from the past alive and create memories for future generations to look back on.

 

The clock of life is wound only once.

And no man has power to tell just what

hour the clock will stop, so use your time real well.

Josephine Holmes, 1979

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Bless Your Pea Pickin' Heart"

Josephine Holmes

 

R.I.P.

Hiram Holmes

Josephine Holmes

Gloria Holmes

Judy (Holmes)Babic

Betty (Holmes) Babic

Beverly (Holmes) Schwartz

Carol (Holmes) Hambley

Auggie

Charles Delbert Holmes

Hairspray Movie Review

The Right Direction

    Hairspray premiered on my thirtieth birthday, July 20, 2007. I was sure it was a sign—a sign that yes, indeed, I was now old. I remember watching the 1988 version as a teenager and loving it. At thirty, I recalled that feeling of love for the original movie and was excited about the prospect of the new musical version of Hairspray with an all-star cast and a hip new beat. I went back and watched the 1988 movie and winced throughout the entire monstrosity. I wondered at my mindset as a teenager and how I could have enjoyed such a movie. Hairspray, 1988's style is gritty, dirty and crass with the Amber character frequently calling Tracy (Ricki Lake) a "whore" and screaming like a banshee that Tracy "has roaches in her hair." I found myself poorly attempting to justify why I liked it not only to myself but to my boyfriend who looked at me like I'd lost my mind. I am ashamed that I held the 1988 original in such high esteem for so many years. The story line remains the same, but it's difficult to compare the vulgarity of the original 1988 movie to the fun and lively beat to the revamped 2007 musical version.

    I watched Hairspray (2007) with my eldest daughter, Blythe, when it came out on DVD and loved every second of it. Even if you don't like musicals, it has a type of universal appeal—regardless of the viewer's age or gender. The humor is clever, quick-witted and well placed as it weaves its way in and out of song. It is lively, energetic and flows together from start to finish leaving me smiling and feeling optimistic. The acting is superb throughout and the dance numbers urge you to get up and dance along. The underlying meaning from the original movie is still present; acceptance and integration overcoming prejudice and segregation.

    Hairspray is set in 1962 where an unlikely heroine, pleasantly plump teenager Tracy Turnblad (newcomer Nikki Blonsky) launches the movie with a rousing rendition of "Good Morning Baltimore" on her way to school. She dances through the streets of Baltimore, passing a streaker that lives next door (writer John Waters), and bleary eyed drunks in the bar (yes at 8 AM, some people are that dedicated to their craft). Stopping to shake her rump outside the bus stop, she misses the bus. She arrives at school on top of a garbage truck finishing the song in an energetic fashion.

    Tracy and her best friend, Penny Pingleton, (Amanda Bynes) dash home after school to dance along to The Corny Collins Show, a program similar to American Bandstand. The teen dancers known as the council introduce themselves with song and dance to the "Nicest (White) Kids in Town." Amber VonTussle (Brittany Snow) and Link Larkin (Zac Efron) are the show's lead dancers and off-screen couple. Tracy ogles Link as if he's the last piece of pie, and dreams of a future as Mrs. Link Larkin. Corny Collins (James Marsden) announces that a council member is taking a leave of absence for nine months, and the station is hosting open auditions for a place on the council. Tracy skips school the following day to audition and is heckled by Amber and her mother, producer Velma VonTussle (Michelle Pfeiffer). Tracy is promptly dismissed after answering that she would indeed swim in an integrated pool, "It's the new frontier."

    Tracy aspires to be President or a Rockette, but first she intends to be lead dancer on The Corny Collins Show! She's got the moves to all the right beats and is put on the show by Corny himself, bypassing Velma. Tracy faces adversaries—a close-minded and manipulative Velma and her 'mini-me' daughter Amber. They are willing to do whatever it takes to make sure Tracy doesn't steal the show, Link's affection and most importantly, the title of Miss Teenage Hairspray. After all, Velma was once Miss Baltimore Crabs, though she admittedly screwed the judges to get there. Velma is against integration—deviously attempting to steer Baltimore youth in the "white direction." Tracy is all for integration and becomes a popular dancer on the show despite Amber and Velma's machinations. Tracy's dad, Wilbur (Christopher Walken) starts selling Tracy memorabilia like hotcakes out of his Hardy Har Hut. Girls buy bouffant wigs just like Tracy's real hair and clamor to get into detention—a place Tracy frequents. Tracy is sent to detention in the 2007 version by a teacher due to hair height. In the 1988 version she is sent to Special Education by the principal for the same infraction. She fights back accusing him of putting her in a class with "Black kids you try to hold back and retards."

True to form, a man was cast as Edna Turnblad, Tracy's mother. In the original 1988 version, Divine, a popular drag queen first played the role of Edna. In the Broadway adaptation Harvey Fierstein continued the tradition. In the 2007 musical spectacular, John Travolta takes the character to a whole new level. John Travolta in a fat suit as Edna is brilliant as he gives her a depth not seen in the original movie. Edna is an agoraphobic laundress who has not been out of the house since the early 1950's, when she was a size eight. With little understanding of Tracy's dreams, Edna scolds herself when Tracy lands a dancing role on The Corny Collins Show. She soon leaves the house to act as Tracy's agent at Mr. Pinky's Hefty Hideaway upon Tracy's insistence ("Welcome to the 60's"). Edna dances into the limelight at the end of the show, showing that John Travolta still has the moves and reminding us all not to get in her way when she sees a Christmas ham!

    Queen Latifah's performance as Motormouth Maybelle is inspiring. She stepped into the role as if it was made for her. Maybelle is hostess of Negro Day, owner of a record shop and mother to Seaweed and Lil' Inez. She cringes as she thanks Negro Day's sponsor, "Napaway: every kink will be gone in a blink!" and I cringe with her. She is astounding as she sings "I know where I've been" during the march after Negro Day is cancelled; the solemnity and beauty of the song giving me chills.

    Zac Efron dances into the role of Link Larkin, Tracy's love interest, with ease from his High School Musical days. It's refreshing to watch a show where the teen heartthrob is infatuated with the heavy girl—one who has more personality than a room full of shallow, attractive beauties. I find myself disappointed in his character when he refuses to join Tracy in the march, but he more than makes up for it in the finale.

The musical is not only about an overweight teenager overcoming stereotypical standards to be a dancer on The Corny Collins Show; it also addresses facing adversity head on. Tracy's character knowingly gives up her dream of dancing on television by joining the march against the station on an issue that resonates in our American history. The bravery of people who stood up for their beliefs and refused to be trod upon leaves me in awe.

Can you imagine what it must have taken for Rosa Parks to not give up her seat? Or what Martin Luther King Jr. went through to become a face recognized as a vital part of the civil rights movement? Can you imagine not being able to dance with people of other races, go to school with them, or talk to them without fear of censure? For many it's hard to imagine. This Musical addresses the civil rights issues of our American history boldly and does so marvelously. As Blythe and I watched she wondered, aloud, why the black kids and white kids couldn't dance together. The movie opened up a conversation and led into a micro history lesson. Blythe said to me, "But Mama, we are all the same inside even if our skin is a different color outside." It is amazing that America has come this far in forty years.

Tracy isn't closed-minded and doesn't see color. She enjoys life, dancing and singing. Her character is fair-minded and has depth. She says to Wilbur before the march, "I thought that fairness was just going to happen. It's not. I have to stand up and fight for what's right." It makes me proud to have her as a role model for my little girl rather than the unattainable and unhealthy thinness of today's models and movie stars. Many Americans struggle with their weight, so having this chubby little vivacious girl as the forefront star of the show is uplifting! The musical is significant because whether you are an overweight teenager, struggling with racial inequality, or denied rights because of sexual orientation, it all comes down to the same thing: We are all human and our humanity can only benefit if we were more accepting of each other.

Analytical and Response Essay – 3rd Draft (other than need to work on ending still!)

Ignorance?

In The Chance for Popular Culture, Paul Goodman claims that culture and art are mass-produced and media-induced attractions, never quite filling, and leaving people with an empty feeling inside which creates a desire for even more unfulfilling art. He suggests, "People are excessively hungry for feeling, for stimulation of torpid routine, for entertainment in boredom, for cathartic release of dammed-up emotional tensions etc." (Goodman, 80). He writes of an endless cycle of attaining a sliver of enjoyment out of an "art" and then craving more as it does not fill the emptiness inside.

According to Paul Goodman, "An art-hungry public is not unfeeling; in fact the Americans are too vulnerable because of their passivity (and ignorance), so that small novelties effect crazes and fads" (Goodman, 85). Fads are the absolute best. It's amazing how quickly they cycle; I remember the 1980's being, well the 1980's; high heels and skinny jeans, big hair and flashy make-up, plaid shirts and leggings. I would grow frustrated with french-rolling my pants just right and trying to control my wayward hair and achieve full hair height with teasing. It's made its return in 2010 and I laugh out loud seeing kids looking just as I looked in my formative years. I remember the aforementioned decade fondly and am decidedly thrilled to hear a 1980's song I was desperately tired of after playing it until my cassette warped.

Paul Goodman also states that there is too much "art", and despite that, Americans are still hungry for more. I agree that art in certain aspects is mass-produced. Magazines that tell us what to read, watch, do and look like spill-over racks at every grocery store. Radio stations play the popular songs until they are burned into the audiences' brains. Movies with the same theme over-populate our theatres. Millions of dollars are spent at the theatres. Trailers shown in thirty-second increments become the biggest inducement to the American public to see the newest and best. Many times I have walked out at the end of a movie thinking I must have seen a thousand movies just like it. I now take that into consideration before I go to the theatres, routinely waiting for the DVD release.

Television with its reality shows, talk shows, Hollywood gossip news giving fifteen minutes of fame for people like the Octo-mom confirm Paul Goodman's statement, "he cannot fail to see that the stupid and preposterous are rewarded" (Goodman, 82). It amazes me that people with no talent and no self-worth become famous and are on the same level as hard-working and dedicated artists. Media-induced "news" of celebrity scandals, hook-ups and break-ups have created an obsessive fascination that overwhelms the American psyche.

However, as I researched the 1940's era in which "The Chance for Popular Culture" was first published, I became increasingly puzzled as to the source of Paul Goodman's dissatisfaction. I recognize names, television and radio shows, music, dances, famous actors and movies. It occurs to me that the 1940's may have been the start of the "greats." Celebrated movies like Casablanca and Fantasia were produced; dances emerged such as the jitterbug, a lively toe-tapping dance; patriotism rang through America and pregnant women proudly showed off their protruded stomachs with drawings of "Kilroy was here" (Goodwin). Rhythm and blues were introduced with names that ring through to this decade such as Ella Fitzgerald and Billie Holiday. In the 1940's, radio was what television is to us today. It was a lifeline of the American public, broadcasting news, music and entertainment. Television became more popular after the war ended and by 1951, 17 million television sets had been sold (Goodwin). Television has degenerated over time, while in the 1940's and 1950's there was quality programming such as GE Theatre, an often live dramatic production; today we have Wife Swap.

The Chance for Popular Culture shows a lack of appreciation for what America and the rest of the world was recovering from, viewing horrific war images and absorbing terrifying news for years. The entire world was emotionally sucked dry for most of the early 1940's from World War II. According to Sue Goodwin in American Culture History 1940-1949, "To show the raw emotions, art became more abstract, was chaotic and shocking in an attempt to maintain humanity in the face of insanity" (Goodwin). Artists will always suffer for their work. Hence the cliché of the "suffering artist." Some artists will be lost in the shuffle while others will rise to fame as I scratch my head wondering if that's really supposed to be considered "art." I would be more apt to agree that Paul Goodman made valid observations in regards to mass produced art if his critique was directed at today's culture versus 1940's culture.

The Chance for Popular Culture conveys an embittered Paul Goodman who seems to feel his good work is going to waste as no one appreciates it, other than a small following of like-minded folks. It is a written lashing of culture that did not heartily accept his work, reflected when he writes about the good, but starving artist, "unless he is rarely philosophical this makes him bitter and envious and, by reaction, foolishly boastful (Goodman, 82)."

In "The Radical Individualism of Paul Goodman", Richard Wall writes that in the late 1940's when The Chance for Popular Culture was first published (referring to Paul Goodman), "he was the prototypical starving artist, discouraged and marginalized, only just making ends meet with his poetry, his fiction and his essays." (Wall) Paul Goodman apparently did not understand that while he may have his pleasures, others may not have the same taste. I believe that everyone has his/her own taste. His judgments of the culture based on generalizations are unfair. There are always going to be "Stepford" wives or drones of some kind, followers and not leaders.

Nonetheless, I do not agree that our chance of having viable culture is based on whether or not we agree with Paul Goodman. Intelligence includes the ability to see and appreciate that people have different tastes. While I may enjoy the finest art in the loftiest of museums, others may not. I also think that he could have reached countless more people without being so abrasive and wordy. It is more effective getting the point across directly and in a way people can understand. I attempted to read more of Paul Goodman's work and was as lost as I would be if I was blindfolded and dropped off in the middle of nowhere.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Works Cited

 

Goodman, Paul. "The Chance for Popular Culture." Essay (1949): 79-87.

Goodwin, Sue. Lone Star College - Kingwood. 9 7 1999. 3 3 2010 <http://kclibrary.lonestar.edu/decade40.html>.

Wall, Richard. LewRockwell.com. 28 02 2003. 3 3 2010 <http://www.lewrockwell.com/orig3/wall10.html>.

 

 

 

 

 

Freedom To Marry – Proposal Essay 4th Draft

Freedom to Marry

    Imagine how you would feel if it was against the law for you to marry the one you love, if you were shut out of hospital rooms for not being what hospital administrations define as family, to be denied for FMLA (Family Medical Leave Act) when your loved one is sick. Many Americans are struggling with these issues today and that needs to be rectified. I propose to abolish the ban on gay marriage in the United States, and more specifically repeal the Defense of Marriage Act, which federally holds marriage to being between one man and one woman.

    Of the fifty states in the U.S., only five allow gay marriage and only three of the remaining forty-five states recognize same-sex unions from those states. Gay couples who don't reside in states that allow same-sex marriage face tremendous hardships and prejudice every day. There have been numerous news reports of partners and their adopted children being kept from their loved ones hospital bedsides in their last hours of life. In the real life example of lesbian couple, Karen Thompson and Sharon Kowalski, Karen was kept from Sharon for nearly four years after Ms. Kowalski was left severely injured when a drunk driver struck her car. Sharon lost the ability to walk or speak more than a few words at a time and required constant care. Ms. Thompson sought a court order for guardianship but Ms. Kowalski's parents opposed the petition and obtained sole guardianship. They used that power maliciously by forbidding all contact between the two women and moving Sharon to a facility hundreds of miles away from Karen. It was not until a re-evaluation of Ms. Kowalski's mental competency that Ms. Thompson was finally able to visit her partner again. The prolonged injustice and anguish both women endured is one of the many examples of why this discrimination needs to come to an end (Stoddard).

The gay marriage movement is often compared to the civil rights movement in the 1950s and 1960s. Less than fifty years ago, it was against the law for black people to attend school with white people, and for black and white to marry. In 1967, sixteen states still had laws in place against interracial marriage until the Supreme Court ruled that such laws were unconstitutional (Cruz, Berson, 2001). When I was growing up people would say there is no way in my lifetime would our nation have a black president. I remember thinking, "Why?" In History class, I learned the terrible prejudice the African American race went through and I hoped one day those who said we would never see a black president would be proven wrong. In 2008, Barack Obama was elected President of the United States and history was made. It's amazing how far we as a nation have come; but how can those with the power to change this not see gender inequality is just as bad as racial inequality?

I struggle with those who speak out against gay or same-sex marriage. I wonder how they would feel if they were told they couldn't protect their family and loved ones with an elementary right due to having a certain color of hair. New law: "Blondes shall not be allowed to marry (other blondes)." It seems rather silly when you look at it like that, doesn't it? Doesn't every person deserve the right of freedom of choice? Shouldn't every person be able to have the exact same rights no matter the color of their hair, height, religion, race or sexual orientation?

According to the American Psychological Association, American Psychiatric Association and National Association of Social Workers, "Gay men and lesbians form stable, committed relationships that are equivalent to heterosexual relationships in essential respects. The institution of marriage offers social, psychological, and health benefits that are denied to same-sex couples. By denying same-sex couples the right to marry, the state reinforces and perpetuates the stigma historically associated with homosexuality. Homosexuality remains stigmatized, and this stigma has negative consequences. California's prohibition on marriage for same-sex couples reflects and reinforces this stigma". They concluded: "There is no scientific basis for distinguishing between same-sex couples and heterosexual couples with respect to the legal rights, obligations, benefits, and burdens conferred by civil marriage." (In Re Marriage Cases, 2007)

How can it change? We start with the small things—reducing prejudice against the gay community, educating the masses, using media in a positive fashion to reflect on the plight of so many. We also must be looking at the large picture, though, and that is ultimately to repeal the Defense of Marriage Act that was signed in by former President Bill Clinton. If the government wants to define marriage according to constitutional amendments, I propose a special task force called Freedom to Marry be appointed by the government. The aptly named taskforce will have six months to research and prepare the Marriage Equality Act to repeal the Defense of Marriage Act.

The language disclosed in the Marriage Equality Act will be gender-free and non-discriminatory. The Marriage Equality Act will contain specific language giving gay couples the same rights as heterosexual couples, including but not limited to, health, medical, tax, federal, social security and death benefits. Freedom to Marry will form education workshops in cities around the United States and create a website to which supporters will be directed. The website will disclose the newest and greatest in the initiative, containing clear and concise information on how to create enough support to pass the Marriage Equality Act to repeal the Defense of Marriage Act.

Prior to voting on the repeal it is required for any representative casting a vote to sit in a workshop for a minimum of one hour with no electronic devices and no assistant. The workshops will have five to seven couples in each workshop and it will be an open forum question and answer session. The representative is required to ask each couple a set of five questions and record their answers. The representative must show evidence of attending the workshop with their handwritten report stamped by the Freedom to Marry taskforce prior to voting. If the representative fails to show proof of attendance at a workshop, he/she will not be allowed to vote. If the representative chooses to vote "No" on the repeal after meeting with the workshop, he/she will be required to revisit the gay couple(s) why he chose to deny them the right to marry.

    The world is full of inequality, but once the United States abolishes the ban on same-sex marriage, it will be one less inequality that we suffer. My proposal to repeal the ban on gay marriage specifically found in the Defense of Marriage Act is sound and a fix for the oppression the gay community faces when it comes to their rights to marry. Just as Obama was voted into the highest office in the land so shall the ban on same-sex marriage be abolished. It will happen.

 

 

 

 

 

Works Cited

 

Berson, B. C. (2001, Summer). Organization of American Historians. Retrieved April 6, 2010, from The American Melting Pot? Miscegenation Laws in the United States: http://www.oah.org/pubs/magazine/family/cruz-berson.html

In Re Marriage Cases, S147999 (Supreme Court of the State of California 09 26, 2007).

Stoddard, T. B. (n.d.). Gay Marriages: Make Them Legal. Retrieved April 2, 2010, from Miami-Dade College|Kendall, English Department: http://faculty.mc.edu/dmcguirk/ENC2106/stoddard.htm

 

Process Journal: Proposal Essay (see below for actual Essay)

    When we received the assignments for both the Analytical/Response Essay and Proposal Essay at the same time, I immediately gravitated to the Proposal Essay. I knew immediately I would want to write on the inequality the gay community struggles with on a daily basis, more specifically the ban on gay marriage on a federal level. Of course immediately gravitating to a subject doesn't mean it would be easy to write about, which I soon learned.

As I started writing the paper I would feel my ire growing at the prejudice and inequality of the matter. I didn't want to come across as angry or condescending to the reader. It seems so obvious to me, but I want to be persuasive in my paper. I overloaded my email account with articles from the databases on equality for the gay community. I read numerous articles on both sides of the issue. I was overwhelmed by all the articles I read and highlighted. I wasn't sure where to go from there. I really struggled with a solution. It's too simple to me. The ban just needs to be abolished. I think my solution is sound and would be a great solution for the issue. Holding those in power responsible for their actions puts in on a personal level and I have great hope for our nation's responsibility to be a nation of equality.

    I eventually began to feel the writing come to me, and sat down only a couple days before first draft is due to write the paper. Usually by first draft I've revised my paper about six or seven times. I really put a lot of effort into my writing and I want it to be great. I sent it to my usual team of proofreaders for some feedback. While not all of the readers agreed with my opinion and proposal they were able to give me great pointers on cleaning up the sentences. I feel my first draft all the time is sloppy in itself. It takes a lot of hard work to get to a second draft for me.

    I am more comfortable in this essay quoting sources than I was in the Response Essay. The Response Essay was the first time I was quoting sources in about fifteen years, so I wasn't quite sure initially how to paraphrase or quote portions directly. We had examples of it, but I still wasn't comfortable. I really like the quotes I was able to bring in and the information I was able to gather for the paper.

My inspiration for the essay is Ellen DeGeneres. Ellen "came out" on her TV sitcom in the 90's and was the recipient of a backlash that lasted years. She is now the only talk show host that could rival Oprah and married to Portia de Rossi, whom she married before Proposition 8 was voted in to effect on November 4, 2009. Ellen is amazing in her compassion and her talk show is a delight. When she announced on her show that she and Portia were getting married, I cried with happiness for her. There are millions of "Ellen's" in the world that do not have the rights they should have.    

I am happy with the essay I'm handing in and glad it's one more down to the Final Portfolio. I want to excel in college, in every class. I can be classified as an overachiever and I'm okay with that. I look at how much value I'm receiving in college at age thirty two that my fellow students at age twenty have no appreciation for. This paper was something I feel passionate about and I hope the reader can see and appreciate that.

Right to Marry (Proposal Essay)

    Imagine how you would feel if it were against the law for you to marry the one you love, if you were shut out of hospital rooms for not being what hospital administrations consider family, to be denied for FMLA (Family Medical Leave Act) when your loved one is sick. Many Americans are struggling with these issues today and that needs to change. I propose to abolish the ban on gay marriage in the United States, and more specifically repeal the Defense of Marriage Act, which federally holds marriage to being between one man and one woman.

    I recall when I was growing up that people would say there is no way in our lifetime we would have a black president. I remember thinking, "Why?" In History class, I learned the terrible prejudice the African American race went through and I hoped one day those who said we would never see a black president would be proven wrong. In 2008, Barack Obama was elected President of the United States and history was made. The ban on gay marriage can be compared to the civil rights issues prior to the 1960s. It is quite a prevalent issue of inequality.

Currently only a handful of states in the U.S.A. allow and recognize gay marriage. Gay partners who don't live in states that allow same-sex marriage face tremendous hardships and prejudice that heterosexual couples would never have to worry about. There have been numerous news reports of partners and their adopted children being kept from their loved one's bedside in their last hours of life. In the real life scenario of Karen Thompson and Sharon Kowalski, Karen was kept from Sharon for nearly four years after Ms. Kowalski was left severely injured when a drunk driver struck her car. Sharon lost the ability to walk or speak more than a few words at a time and required constant care. Ms. Thompson sought a court order for guardianship but Ms. Kowalski's parents opposed the petition and obtained sole guardianship. They used that power maliciously by forbidding all contact between the two women and moving Sharon to a facility hundreds of miles away from Karen. It was not until a reevaluation of Ms. Kowalski's mental competency that Ms. Thompson was finally able to visit her partner again. The prolonged injustice and anguish both women endured is one of the many examples of why this discrimination needs to come to an end (Stoddard).

It is unfair and unjust for any person in the United States to be denied the same rights as the person next to them, no matter their sexual orientation. America is so advanced in comparison to many other countries, so why are we living in The Stone Age when it comes to Gay Marriage? What is the hold up? The United States has an extremely high rate of divorce; approximately 50% of all first marriages end in divorce, so why should heterosexuals be making the decision on whether any person should be able to get married?

According to the American Psychological Association, American Psychiatric Association and National Association of Social Workers, "Gay men and lesbians form stable, committed relationships that are equivalent to heterosexual relationships in essential respects. The institution of marriage offers social, psychological, and health benefits that are denied to same-sex couples. By denying same-sex couples the right to marry, the state reinforces and perpetuates the stigma historically associated with homosexuality. Homosexuality remains stigmatized, and this stigma has negative consequences. California's prohibition on marriage for same-sex couples reflects and reinforces this stigma". They concluded: "There is no scientific basis for distinguishing between same-sex couples and heterosexual couples with respect to the legal rights, obligations, benefits, and burdens conferred by civil marriage (In Re Marriage Cases, 2007)."

 

Christians frequently quote the words of Jesus: "Judge not lest you be judged" (Luke 6:37). According to this verse, isn't God the only who can judge? So why are religious leaders up in arms in regards to this issue and turn a blind eye to the fact they are condemning others for being different? The government should bear in mind that they have voted to remove "God" from our schools, and there have been lawsuits filed to remove God from money and the pledge of allegiance. If this country is truly based on church vs. state, why are the LGBT (Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender) community and proponents for Freedom to Marry still fighting this battle? I think it is a shame that I live and love in this great country of ours and there is still so much short-sightedness. Just think less than fifty years ago, it was against the law for black people to go to school with white people, for black and white to marry. In 1967, sixteen states still had laws in place against interracial marriage until the Supreme Court ruled that such laws were unconstitutional (Cruz, Berson, 2001). It's amazing how far we as a nation have come; but how can those with the power to change this not see gender inequality is just as bad as racial inequality?

I morally struggle with the righteous that speak up against gay or same-sex marriage. I wonder how they would feel if they were told they couldn't protect their family and loved ones with an elementary right due to having a certain color of hair. New rule: "Blondes shall not be allowed to marry (other blondes)." It seems rather silly when you look at it like that, doesn't it? Gay couples are not demanding priests or pastors to marry them against their own set of values and beliefs. What they want is the opportunity to be treated just like the heterosexual couples sitting next to them in the restaurant. Doesn't every person deserve the right of freedom of choice? Shouldn't every person be able to have the exact same rights no matter the color of their hair, height, religion, race or sexual orientation? I do not look at this controversial issue of gay versus straight, instead viewing it in the eyes of what's right and wrong.

How can it change? We can start with the small things, reducing prejudice against the gay community, educating the masses, use media in a positive fashion to reflect on the plight of so many. We should also be looking at the large picture though and that is ultimately to revise the Defense of Marriage Act that was signed in by former President Bill Clinton. If the government wants to define marriage according to constitutional amendments, I propose a special task force of those in the LGBT community to be assigned by the government and an amendment to the Defense of Marriage Act be researched and prepared to be passed. I admire that five states in our nation so far have allowed gay marriage and three others recognize those unions when performed in states that currently allow it, but that's not good enough. This was made a federal issue and needs to be revised on a federal level.

I propose the special task force form education workshops in cities around the United States and create a website to which supporters can be directed. The website should disclose the newest and greatest in the initiative to abolish the ban containing clear and concise information on how to create enough support to pass the amendment to abolish the ban on the federal level. I do not feel the Defense of Marriage Act needs to be fully re-written; it would take a simple amendment prepared by those in the special task force to be signed in by the President specific to how the government defines marriage. The language in the amendment should be gender-free and non-discriminatory.

Prior to voting on the amendment it will be required for any representative casting their vote on any government level to sit with a group of gay couples who want to get married. It will be urged that each representative leave their prejudices at the door and place themselves in the couple's shoes, asking questions and engaging the couple in serious questions as to why they should have the same rights of any American. If the representative chooses to vote "No" on the amendment after meeting with the couple, he/she will be required to tell the gay couple(s) why he chose to deny them the right to marry.

    The world needs to rid itself of inequality. Perhaps it's a dreamer's dream, but every day we see instances of inequality in this world we live in. My proposal to abolish the ban on gay marriage is sound and would be a fix for the oppression the gay community faces when it comes to their rights to marry. Just as Obama was voted into the highest office in the land so shall the ban on same-sex marriage be abolished. It will happen.

Works Cited

Berson, B. C. (2001, Summer). Organization of American Historians. Retrieved April 6, 2010, from The American Melting Pot? Miscegenation Laws in the United States: http://www.oah.org/pubs/magazine/family/cruz-berson.html

In Re Marriage Cases, S147999 (Supreme Court of the State of California 09 26, 2007).

Stoddard, T. B. (n.d.). Gay Marriages: Make Them Legal. Retrieved April 2, 2010, from Miami-Dade College|Kendall, English Department: http://faculty.mc.edu/dmcguirk/ENC2106/stoddard.htm