For my first Assignment in Child Psychology this semester the Professor asked us the following:
Describe the major traits you share with each of your siblings. What major traits are very different for you and your siblings? Which ones do you believe are biologically based, and which ones do you think are the result of your environment? How do you explain the differences, given you have the same parents and grew up in the same family?
Once I started typing, it flowed and I knew it would become a blog post... I'm so blessed to be surrounded by a family that is Amazing.
I have one brother who is 3 years younger than me. We are very similar in appearance, people who knew him would recognize me as Charlie’s sister on the street. It has taken me aback more than once. We share the same facial features and shape though mine are more feminine and his are more masculine. Obviously, these physical similarities would be biologically based.
Though we were similar in looks and close as siblings go, we both excelled in different areas. I am an avid reader, fascinated by the written word and devoured books as if I was starving. My brother was extremely agile and had a superior athletic ability. Anything he picked up, he could do. Once when we went ice skating I fell for about 10 minutes straight, he took off like he’d been doing it for years. He is also an excellent artist, which runs in our family.
These differences are a mix of nature and nurture. We were very close to my mother’s side of the family and when we all got together, you could clearly see the love of music, reading, art, athletics weaved throughout our family… Charlie and I seemed to gravitate to our own specialties, if you will. I was always green with envy by his natural ability to do anything, but perhaps he was envious of my talkability and love of books and music.
I would frequently wonder what “ability” I got from my family. My brother seemed to get them all. My grandmother is an amazing woman… she paints, draws, cooks, plays guitar and piano, crochets, knits and in general is one of the most inspirational women I have been blessed to have in my life.
My mother also has “mad skills,” in which she paints, cooks, draws, plays instruments, sings beautifully and shares my love of reading… or perhaps gave me my love of reading.
I grew up surrounded by a talented family, one in which the world was a blank canvas with endless possibilities.
When it comes to the nature vs. nurture debate, I believe you cannot truly have one without the other. We may be inborn with certain qualities but unless it is nurtured, how could we ever reach our true potential?
Thursday, January 19, 2012
Wednesday, January 18, 2012
Well.....
As a parent there are “moments” that floor you, ones that make you laugh so hard you start snorting (or at least I do), moments that take our breath away, moments that you will remember forever, moments that make you so very thankful every single day you’ve been blessed and moments that startle you and really make you reflect.
This story is one of those reflection moments.
Earlier this week, it was just B and me. We were on our way to the store for potato soup fixings and she asked me this:
“Mom, do all grown ups worry about being fat? Because I don’t want to be like that.”
Woah.
Well, ummmmm....
Hmph.
It took me a moment, but then I asked her why she thought that. She proceeded to tell me that I along with at least 2 other women she knows constantly frets about being fat and we aren’t.... so why would we all be so concerned over it?
Bah.
Well, you know I had just been talking about this... I mean, I took an awesome course on Sociology of the Body last semester... I learned so much, really loved the class, but obviously carried my weight issues with me all the way through without really considering what I was passing on down to my girls.
I don’t want my girls to look at themselves the way I look at myself in the mirror.
I wish I didn’t look at myself in the mirror the way I do.
So, as a resolution for 2012 and beyond (2 weeks late but better late than never), I will work to not be so harsh with myself, to appreciate the beauty that others see, and to say something positive about myself every day.
I’m not doing it just for me, though that in itself is a good enough reason.
The realization of the message I was sending to my children was startling, eye-opening and obviously much needed.
I’m so thankful that B speaks to me frankly and knows that she can always ask me anything. I’m glad she opened my eyes to what I do to myself and in turn, what I’m passing to them.
So here we go:
Positive Affirmation #1: I’m amazing... I have the tattoo to prove it.
This story is one of those reflection moments.
Earlier this week, it was just B and me. We were on our way to the store for potato soup fixings and she asked me this:
“Mom, do all grown ups worry about being fat? Because I don’t want to be like that.”
Woah.
Well, ummmmm....
Hmph.
It took me a moment, but then I asked her why she thought that. She proceeded to tell me that I along with at least 2 other women she knows constantly frets about being fat and we aren’t.... so why would we all be so concerned over it?
Bah.
Well, you know I had just been talking about this... I mean, I took an awesome course on Sociology of the Body last semester... I learned so much, really loved the class, but obviously carried my weight issues with me all the way through without really considering what I was passing on down to my girls.
I don’t want my girls to look at themselves the way I look at myself in the mirror.
I wish I didn’t look at myself in the mirror the way I do.
So, as a resolution for 2012 and beyond (2 weeks late but better late than never), I will work to not be so harsh with myself, to appreciate the beauty that others see, and to say something positive about myself every day.
I’m not doing it just for me, though that in itself is a good enough reason.
The realization of the message I was sending to my children was startling, eye-opening and obviously much needed.
I’m so thankful that B speaks to me frankly and knows that she can always ask me anything. I’m glad she opened my eyes to what I do to myself and in turn, what I’m passing to them.
So here we go:
Positive Affirmation #1: I’m amazing... I have the tattoo to prove it.
Friday, October 21, 2011
Why I won't step foot into the MC Library
May 10, 2010
Dear Mr. Head of Library,
I am writing to you regarding various complaints. I have been a patron of the Michigan City Library since I moved to Michigan City last year. I am an avid reader and have three children that also love to read. I love libraries, in general. I sometimes feel as a child in a candy store when I walk into a library and see books surrounding me and enveloping me in their brilliance. I love the design of the Michigan City Library and the selection of books, movies and audio books and the convenience of location. However, none of these things make up for the absolute horrific service you get at the Circulation Desk. I have been continually shocked and offended by the staff in the Circulation Desk. Before I give you specific examples I would like to say that the only gentleman that works up there and C are the only exceptions in my mind. I feel it’s almost as a Russian Roulette when I check out hoping that one of those two are working and I’ll get them in my turn in line. The two rudest employees are the older woman with the white curly hair and E.
I have had the occasional late fees, hold fees and I have paid for two books, one of which my dog ate and the other simply seemed like it disappeared. I pay my fees, though have been treated like I’m a criminal when I come in with a late fee of only 50 cents. I was honest when one of the library’s books was destroyed and the other lost and paid for the cost immediately. I have taken out audio books, movies and games and have had to advise the library multiple times of audio books or movies that didn’t work. I had to bring a Playaway back within 2 days as it didn’t get past track 3. One time, I had dropped an audio book off in the box outside as the library was not open and the last CD had skipped to the point that I still don’t know the end of the book. The next day I went to the library to tell them and was told rudely by the Circulation Desk that it’s back on the shelf and it was obvious nothing would be done about it.
The first incident I had with E had me quite perturbed but it would take a lot for someone like me to give up the library based on one employee’s rudeness. As I had said before I had a book that was damaged and when I came in to take care of it, the gentleman at the Circulation Desk was there and assisted me. I also had maybe 45 cents in late fees and 2 to 3 hold book fees. I wrote a check for the amount due and he wrote me out a detailed receipt with a breakdown of the costs I had paid. The next time I came into the library, E, waited on me. She scanned my card and told me I had $1.00 in hold fees. I told her I paid those hold fees the last time I was in. She denied that I did so. I told her I had a receipt, she threw her hand in my face and started yelling for a supervisor. I started digging in my purse as she makes this major commotion getting a supervisor and amazingly enough I still had the receipt. So I showed it to her and the supervisor. What does she do next? Mayhap an apology might be in order? NO! She goes back behind the 2nd division in the circulation desk area and starts yelling at the guy that helped me out because he didn’t remove them from my account! As I stand waiting to be checked out! Now, let me tell you I was absolutely mortified for the guy and in no way intended on getting him in trouble. E made me feel like I was some sort of criminal trying to get away with $1.00!!!! I still think what nerve she has to put me and that guy and everyone else in line through that! And maybe I should’ve just kept my mouth quiet and paid the $1.00, but I didn’t owe it and didn’t feel I should have to pay it.
The second incident just happened recently and has forced me into the sad decision that I do not want to return to the library. I am looking into joining another library in the Michigan City area in the hopes that the employees in an alternate library will not be so harsh. As I previously indicated I have rented a lot of movies from the library. I know from being a frequent customer of the audio books and movies the quick cursory glance the staff gives the disc before shuffling the next person into line. I have rented quite a few discs from the library that flat out don’t work in my dvd player, scratched or not. I have told the staff when a movie doesn’t play properly. More often than not the movies I have checked out from the library are scratched and skip at least one or two times when my children are watching them. I figure it’s a part of life and they are free movies so who am I to complain? Well now I am the one complaining as I rented Mulan and my children watched it a couple of times before I returned the movie. I came in to the library to pick up a book on hold and lucky me, I got E as my clerk. She got my book off hold and scanned my card and then told me to wait a minute. She brings out the Mulan disc and says you damaged this, we need $30. I told her I did not damage it and she immediately threw her hand in my face again and went to get a supervisor, yelling the entire way. Sir, I am not an intimidating woman. I do not yell or slam my first when trying to make a point. E is unaccountably rude and it’s absolutely shameful the way she has treated me, like I’m some sort of lying thief. When the supervisor came up I explained the situation that I did not scratch it and that it played fine in my house. I cried when I left the library, a first and a last, I can assure you. Sure, the dvd was quite scratched but most of the dvd’s I get from the library are scratched. I would take full responsibility for the dvd if I had indeed damaged it. You can look in my account and see that I have paid my fees and was honest in regards to the two books that I have paid for. My payment history can show the type of library patron I am, to this point.
I do not feel that I should be responsible for the cost of the Mulan dvd. I did not damage it, no matter what they say regarding the scratching. Most of the children dvd’s are scratched significantly so. If the library is going to throw my account into a collection for it that would affect my credit, then I will feel that my hand will be forced into paying for a dvd that I did not damage. I will seek patronage for myself and my family in an alternate library in Michigan City area and only hope that by writing this letter that E will be served some sort of punishment for being so rude to the patrons of Michigan City Library. I am saddened to write this letter with the intent of no longer being a patron. But I can no longer stand by and be treated so terribly in a place that has always been a safe haven to me.
If you would please let me know if I will be turned into collection if I should not pay for the DVD that I did not damage, I would be much obliged. Also I am including a check of $1.50 for any additional holds I had on my account. I know House Rules came in as that’s the book I was there to pick up and Runaway came in subsequently after that I had put on hold.
Sincerely,
Carissa Adams
Dear Mr. Head of Library,
I am writing to you regarding various complaints. I have been a patron of the Michigan City Library since I moved to Michigan City last year. I am an avid reader and have three children that also love to read. I love libraries, in general. I sometimes feel as a child in a candy store when I walk into a library and see books surrounding me and enveloping me in their brilliance. I love the design of the Michigan City Library and the selection of books, movies and audio books and the convenience of location. However, none of these things make up for the absolute horrific service you get at the Circulation Desk. I have been continually shocked and offended by the staff in the Circulation Desk. Before I give you specific examples I would like to say that the only gentleman that works up there and C are the only exceptions in my mind. I feel it’s almost as a Russian Roulette when I check out hoping that one of those two are working and I’ll get them in my turn in line. The two rudest employees are the older woman with the white curly hair and E.
I have had the occasional late fees, hold fees and I have paid for two books, one of which my dog ate and the other simply seemed like it disappeared. I pay my fees, though have been treated like I’m a criminal when I come in with a late fee of only 50 cents. I was honest when one of the library’s books was destroyed and the other lost and paid for the cost immediately. I have taken out audio books, movies and games and have had to advise the library multiple times of audio books or movies that didn’t work. I had to bring a Playaway back within 2 days as it didn’t get past track 3. One time, I had dropped an audio book off in the box outside as the library was not open and the last CD had skipped to the point that I still don’t know the end of the book. The next day I went to the library to tell them and was told rudely by the Circulation Desk that it’s back on the shelf and it was obvious nothing would be done about it.
The first incident I had with E had me quite perturbed but it would take a lot for someone like me to give up the library based on one employee’s rudeness. As I had said before I had a book that was damaged and when I came in to take care of it, the gentleman at the Circulation Desk was there and assisted me. I also had maybe 45 cents in late fees and 2 to 3 hold book fees. I wrote a check for the amount due and he wrote me out a detailed receipt with a breakdown of the costs I had paid. The next time I came into the library, E, waited on me. She scanned my card and told me I had $1.00 in hold fees. I told her I paid those hold fees the last time I was in. She denied that I did so. I told her I had a receipt, she threw her hand in my face and started yelling for a supervisor. I started digging in my purse as she makes this major commotion getting a supervisor and amazingly enough I still had the receipt. So I showed it to her and the supervisor. What does she do next? Mayhap an apology might be in order? NO! She goes back behind the 2nd division in the circulation desk area and starts yelling at the guy that helped me out because he didn’t remove them from my account! As I stand waiting to be checked out! Now, let me tell you I was absolutely mortified for the guy and in no way intended on getting him in trouble. E made me feel like I was some sort of criminal trying to get away with $1.00!!!! I still think what nerve she has to put me and that guy and everyone else in line through that! And maybe I should’ve just kept my mouth quiet and paid the $1.00, but I didn’t owe it and didn’t feel I should have to pay it.
The second incident just happened recently and has forced me into the sad decision that I do not want to return to the library. I am looking into joining another library in the Michigan City area in the hopes that the employees in an alternate library will not be so harsh. As I previously indicated I have rented a lot of movies from the library. I know from being a frequent customer of the audio books and movies the quick cursory glance the staff gives the disc before shuffling the next person into line. I have rented quite a few discs from the library that flat out don’t work in my dvd player, scratched or not. I have told the staff when a movie doesn’t play properly. More often than not the movies I have checked out from the library are scratched and skip at least one or two times when my children are watching them. I figure it’s a part of life and they are free movies so who am I to complain? Well now I am the one complaining as I rented Mulan and my children watched it a couple of times before I returned the movie. I came in to the library to pick up a book on hold and lucky me, I got E as my clerk. She got my book off hold and scanned my card and then told me to wait a minute. She brings out the Mulan disc and says you damaged this, we need $30. I told her I did not damage it and she immediately threw her hand in my face again and went to get a supervisor, yelling the entire way. Sir, I am not an intimidating woman. I do not yell or slam my first when trying to make a point. E is unaccountably rude and it’s absolutely shameful the way she has treated me, like I’m some sort of lying thief. When the supervisor came up I explained the situation that I did not scratch it and that it played fine in my house. I cried when I left the library, a first and a last, I can assure you. Sure, the dvd was quite scratched but most of the dvd’s I get from the library are scratched. I would take full responsibility for the dvd if I had indeed damaged it. You can look in my account and see that I have paid my fees and was honest in regards to the two books that I have paid for. My payment history can show the type of library patron I am, to this point.
I do not feel that I should be responsible for the cost of the Mulan dvd. I did not damage it, no matter what they say regarding the scratching. Most of the children dvd’s are scratched significantly so. If the library is going to throw my account into a collection for it that would affect my credit, then I will feel that my hand will be forced into paying for a dvd that I did not damage. I will seek patronage for myself and my family in an alternate library in Michigan City area and only hope that by writing this letter that E will be served some sort of punishment for being so rude to the patrons of Michigan City Library. I am saddened to write this letter with the intent of no longer being a patron. But I can no longer stand by and be treated so terribly in a place that has always been a safe haven to me.
If you would please let me know if I will be turned into collection if I should not pay for the DVD that I did not damage, I would be much obliged. Also I am including a check of $1.50 for any additional holds I had on my account. I know House Rules came in as that’s the book I was there to pick up and Runaway came in subsequently after that I had put on hold.
Sincerely,
Carissa Adams
Thursday, October 20, 2011
The Cheesecake Factory Experience
Dear The Cheesecake Factory,
We love you, we really do. We visit you far too often. My oldest daughter has proclaimed she will one day marry you. We enjoy your appetizers, small plates, sandwiches, pastas, specialties and chicken and of course every scrumptious bite of the cheesecake that makes you The Cheesecake Factory. A trip into the city with the family would not be complete without topping it off with a visit to one of our favorite Chicago places.
And then….. we finally come see you for a special occasion… not “just because” we have an obsession, not “just because” we found some reason to come to town so we could see you. We come to celebrate our babies’ 6th birthday and receive the absolute worst service we have ever received. Anywhere.
Now let’s just get one thing straight, the food was delicious. It always is; it never lets us down. And I would never imagine that it could.
But we are extremely let down.
When we come to town, when we come to The Cheesecake Factory, we expect great service, awesome food and spectacular cheesecake. We left tonight completely outraged on a special night.
We do not know if it’s because we were a family of 5 (only 2 adult menus and 3 children) in a booth that could perhaps house 8 people. We didn’t request it, it’s what we were led to, but the waiter clearly was not happy at this idea of a possible lesser tip. Even though it was a Thursday and not the high peak weekend time where I’m sure the wait staff makes the most mula.
Our waiter got the drink order wrong, never served one plate of food, nor filled our glasses. He did not ask us if we wanted cheesecake, nor was there any celebration of the twins’ birthday by singing (even though there were 2 other Happy Birthday sing-songs AND I had told the host that we wanted them sang to). We had to stop him at our table as he tried hurrying past if we needed anything. Finally, and most appallingly, before we even left the table he came to see how much I had written in as a tip. We always tip well, and even though he was the most horrid excuse for a waiter, I was extremely tempted to leave a crap tip for him. I didn’t, though I still question my decision of rewarding bad behavior.
Although, it would take MUCH more for us to write off The Cheesecake Factory, it has definitely left a blemish on an otherwise unbeatable record.
Still yours,
Cari
We love you, we really do. We visit you far too often. My oldest daughter has proclaimed she will one day marry you. We enjoy your appetizers, small plates, sandwiches, pastas, specialties and chicken and of course every scrumptious bite of the cheesecake that makes you The Cheesecake Factory. A trip into the city with the family would not be complete without topping it off with a visit to one of our favorite Chicago places.
And then….. we finally come see you for a special occasion… not “just because” we have an obsession, not “just because” we found some reason to come to town so we could see you. We come to celebrate our babies’ 6th birthday and receive the absolute worst service we have ever received. Anywhere.
Now let’s just get one thing straight, the food was delicious. It always is; it never lets us down. And I would never imagine that it could.
But we are extremely let down.
When we come to town, when we come to The Cheesecake Factory, we expect great service, awesome food and spectacular cheesecake. We left tonight completely outraged on a special night.
We do not know if it’s because we were a family of 5 (only 2 adult menus and 3 children) in a booth that could perhaps house 8 people. We didn’t request it, it’s what we were led to, but the waiter clearly was not happy at this idea of a possible lesser tip. Even though it was a Thursday and not the high peak weekend time where I’m sure the wait staff makes the most mula.
Our waiter got the drink order wrong, never served one plate of food, nor filled our glasses. He did not ask us if we wanted cheesecake, nor was there any celebration of the twins’ birthday by singing (even though there were 2 other Happy Birthday sing-songs AND I had told the host that we wanted them sang to). We had to stop him at our table as he tried hurrying past if we needed anything. Finally, and most appallingly, before we even left the table he came to see how much I had written in as a tip. We always tip well, and even though he was the most horrid excuse for a waiter, I was extremely tempted to leave a crap tip for him. I didn’t, though I still question my decision of rewarding bad behavior.
Although, it would take MUCH more for us to write off The Cheesecake Factory, it has definitely left a blemish on an otherwise unbeatable record.
Still yours,
Cari
Monday, August 22, 2011
First Day Jitters
Ahhhh, first day for Fall semester…. It was lovely, nerv-y and fun. Being off campus last semester due to the surgery really had me looking forward to this semester on campus.
I'm taking Sociology of the Body, Communications 114 (Speech), Statistics 113 and Abnormal Psychology (online).
I'm officially giving myself 2 weeks to get in the hang of things with school and everything else I do on a daily basis.
Classes went well, other than finding out my arch-nemesis is in 2 out of my 4 classes. I really do not want to put up with listening to him yammer on for 2 hours 2 days a week, but I realized that I still had the power to tune him out, so rock on to me!
I'm really looking forward to delving into my Sociology of the Body class and the Abnormal Psychology.
Speech still has me nerv-y… I hate talking in front of people…. I can talk to a small group of people fine and I can talk passionately about a subject like bullying with no problem… but I dread regular public speaking.
We were given our first assignment in speech class today which is a coat of arms done by pictures on a poster board. My name being first alphabetically means I'm the lucky one that goes first. Aaarrgghhhh!!
Still though I'll be fighting those nerves, I'll be glad to get it over with and I really like this Coat of Arms speech.
Here are the questions, I have to pull images for and talk about:
- What is something at which you excel? (I tried jotting notes of ideas, had a hard time with this one, came up with multi-tasking tentatively)
- What is something yourself that you are working to improve? (stubbornness? The art of public speaking? ßhardy har)
- What is one value, a deep commitment, from which you would never budge? (Family, acceptance and kindness came to mind)
- What is the material possession most significant to you? (Gma Jo's journals all the way)
- What is your greatest achievement of the past year? (ABC, of course)
- What is your biggest setback of the past year? (Surgery is what I put tentatively, but that wasn't that big of a setback, I still was in college, I was back to work within 2 weeks… must think more on this one).
- What would you do if you had one year to live and were guaranteed of success in whatever you attempted? (jotted that I would work solely as an advocate to end bullying… of course upon thinking it more, I would want to spend every moment with my family)
- What three words would you most like to have said about you if you died today? (jotted advocate, mommy, loved and kind… okay that's 4 words and I'll probably tweak those)
I love this idea of introducing yourself as a coat of arms. Fabulous… though I'm sure I'll be sweating it day of and before…. Plan on working on the poster this weekend, have Blythe help me since John and Grace will be at their dad's.
I'll check back in with news of how the speech went… if I remember.
C
Thursday, June 23, 2011
Duhduh...duhduh... (Jaws Theme)
So this upcoming Fall semester I am taking Communication 114. Or Speech class. And I’m dreading it. Occasionally, I will start thinking about it and wonder how I will do. You’d think, considering how much I love to talk, that it would be a cinch, but I abhor public speaking.
I get shaky and sweaty (two of my favorite things - *roll of eyes*) and I feel my voice shaking. It’s always been that way… with the exception of the last talk I gave at a Realtor meeting after I had given my notice when I worked at Chicago Title. That is the only time that I can remember feeling comfortable in front of a group of people. And I found it ironic, I found that comfort when I was leaving… or maybe it was because I was leaving that it made it easy for me.
So today as I was getting around, I start thinking…wondering…slightly stressing… about what speeches I will be forced to make in front of a class of 18 – 19 year olds.
And, what worries me the most is my penchant for going off on tangents.
Exhibit A: ABC Workshop May 7, 2011. Spent the night before planning out our activities, what I would say, where I would break, when Candice would speak, yadda yadda yadda. Then what did I do? I did not use any of my notes and just free-balled it. Yes I just wrote free-balled.
Anywho, that’s all fine and dandy for workshops because I’m speaking from my heart and about something I’m extremely passionate about and I’m surrounded by people who share that passion… and I don’t have a stopwatch timing me like I will in speech class.
I remember in speech class in 10th or 11th grade I had to do a newscast including weather, sports etc. I went so over the time I was told I could just stop. Talk about mortifying. I feel embarrassed even sharing that, but it perhaps explains my worry.
So back to earlier today as I’m straightening my fabulous blonde hair, I think, well what if I have to introduce myself? What would I say?
Fake Speech (running through my mind):
“Hi there, my name is Cari Adams and I’m 33 or 34, or perhaps by now even 35. I’m a mom of twins + 1, a fiancé, a sophomore, a Realtor, an office manager and a co-founder of a non-profit organization called Anti-Bullying Coalition. I’m opinionated, bordering on obnoxious and am always rushing somewhere. I have 3 delightful doggies and 4 ornery kitties that all neurotically love my fiancé. I love to laugh, am obsessed with Facebook and squeal every time I see Usher. I adore Ellen DeGeneres and everything she stands for and one day we will meet and become BFF’s.”
How long would that take? How many extra sentences would I throw in there?
So probably when you first started reading this, you thought Isn’t it summer? Doesn’t she have 2 - 3 months before stressing about her fall classes? And yes, you are right. I’m thinking maybe I just have to have something to worry about…. And this is what was convenient today. I don't choose it, they just come to me :).
I get shaky and sweaty (two of my favorite things - *roll of eyes*) and I feel my voice shaking. It’s always been that way… with the exception of the last talk I gave at a Realtor meeting after I had given my notice when I worked at Chicago Title. That is the only time that I can remember feeling comfortable in front of a group of people. And I found it ironic, I found that comfort when I was leaving… or maybe it was because I was leaving that it made it easy for me.
So today as I was getting around, I start thinking…wondering…slightly stressing… about what speeches I will be forced to make in front of a class of 18 – 19 year olds.
And, what worries me the most is my penchant for going off on tangents.
Exhibit A: ABC Workshop May 7, 2011. Spent the night before planning out our activities, what I would say, where I would break, when Candice would speak, yadda yadda yadda. Then what did I do? I did not use any of my notes and just free-balled it. Yes I just wrote free-balled.
Anywho, that’s all fine and dandy for workshops because I’m speaking from my heart and about something I’m extremely passionate about and I’m surrounded by people who share that passion… and I don’t have a stopwatch timing me like I will in speech class.
I remember in speech class in 10th or 11th grade I had to do a newscast including weather, sports etc. I went so over the time I was told I could just stop. Talk about mortifying. I feel embarrassed even sharing that, but it perhaps explains my worry.
So back to earlier today as I’m straightening my fabulous blonde hair, I think, well what if I have to introduce myself? What would I say?
Fake Speech (running through my mind):
“Hi there, my name is Cari Adams and I’m 33 or 34, or perhaps by now even 35. I’m a mom of twins + 1, a fiancé, a sophomore, a Realtor, an office manager and a co-founder of a non-profit organization called Anti-Bullying Coalition. I’m opinionated, bordering on obnoxious and am always rushing somewhere. I have 3 delightful doggies and 4 ornery kitties that all neurotically love my fiancé. I love to laugh, am obsessed with Facebook and squeal every time I see Usher. I adore Ellen DeGeneres and everything she stands for and one day we will meet and become BFF’s.”
How long would that take? How many extra sentences would I throw in there?
So probably when you first started reading this, you thought Isn’t it summer? Doesn’t she have 2 - 3 months before stressing about her fall classes? And yes, you are right. I’m thinking maybe I just have to have something to worry about…. And this is what was convenient today. I don't choose it, they just come to me :).
Saturday, June 18, 2011
Missing You
I’m letting you know I’m emotional. So if you continue, you were warned.
Today, we lost our cat, Esme…. A beautiful little calico kitten we took in a year ago the week before we left for Disney World. Esme was an incredibly shy cat and we jokingly said we counted her as a ½ cat because we rarely saw her. She bonded with our black and white kitty, Diamond, who treated her like she was hers. They laid together, bathed each other, slept together. She was sister to our sassafrass kitten, Candys, and possibly the daughter of our fixed (but maybe too late) cat Cullen (aka Big Boy). She was a good girl and will be missed.
Waking up and peering out our large picture window in horror and sadness was not my ideal way to start a morning. My eyes filled with tears seeing the precious kitty on the road and I immediately woke up David with, “Esme is dead!”
I felt so guilty, because I think, "Did I hear her meowing outside my window last night?" I can't remember. Usually she does when she wants in, as does Candys, and I often get out of bed to let one or the other in. I can't remember, but that doesn't stop the guilt.
I was prone to tears for most of the morning, had a busy afternoon and early evening and on our way home, I felt the tears well up again.
It started out because of Esme, but morphed into tears for my father.
Tomorrow is Father’s Day and while I’m so thankful for my Dad, Steve, I also am saddened as I miss my Dad, Charlie.
I think of him often, nearly every day, and I wish I could turn back those hands of time and appreciated the time I had with him more.
As I was loading up posts for Father's Day on ABC, I scheduled to post the song "In Pictures" by Alabama, which is the song my Dad said made him think of me. I couldn't listen to it today when I scheduled it. I found the video on YouTube and immediately muted. I think of coming back from telling my brother our Dad was dead and putting the song in the CD player. Tears came pouring out and my mom turned it off, as it was just too emotional for me.
I think of the last time I spoke with him, when I rushed off the phone because I had 100's of things to do. It is one of my big regrets and there is nothing I can ever do to take it back.
Sometimes you don’t realize how much you’ll miss a person, until they are gone. Then there is nothing you can do.
I feel I need to carry this with me, the remembering to appreciate rather than rush, and as I type this I know I have that best intention and then within a day or two, I’ll be rushing along my way and not taking the time to stop, enjoy and appreciate.
New Daily Mantra: SEA—Stop.Enjoy.Appreciate.
I can only hope I will be better at SEA-ing.
RIP Charles D. Holmes and Esme.... You are missed!
Today, we lost our cat, Esme…. A beautiful little calico kitten we took in a year ago the week before we left for Disney World. Esme was an incredibly shy cat and we jokingly said we counted her as a ½ cat because we rarely saw her. She bonded with our black and white kitty, Diamond, who treated her like she was hers. They laid together, bathed each other, slept together. She was sister to our sassafrass kitten, Candys, and possibly the daughter of our fixed (but maybe too late) cat Cullen (aka Big Boy). She was a good girl and will be missed.
Waking up and peering out our large picture window in horror and sadness was not my ideal way to start a morning. My eyes filled with tears seeing the precious kitty on the road and I immediately woke up David with, “Esme is dead!”
I felt so guilty, because I think, "Did I hear her meowing outside my window last night?" I can't remember. Usually she does when she wants in, as does Candys, and I often get out of bed to let one or the other in. I can't remember, but that doesn't stop the guilt.
I was prone to tears for most of the morning, had a busy afternoon and early evening and on our way home, I felt the tears well up again.
It started out because of Esme, but morphed into tears for my father.
Tomorrow is Father’s Day and while I’m so thankful for my Dad, Steve, I also am saddened as I miss my Dad, Charlie.
I think of him often, nearly every day, and I wish I could turn back those hands of time and appreciated the time I had with him more.
As I was loading up posts for Father's Day on ABC, I scheduled to post the song "In Pictures" by Alabama, which is the song my Dad said made him think of me. I couldn't listen to it today when I scheduled it. I found the video on YouTube and immediately muted. I think of coming back from telling my brother our Dad was dead and putting the song in the CD player. Tears came pouring out and my mom turned it off, as it was just too emotional for me.
I think of the last time I spoke with him, when I rushed off the phone because I had 100's of things to do. It is one of my big regrets and there is nothing I can ever do to take it back.
Sometimes you don’t realize how much you’ll miss a person, until they are gone. Then there is nothing you can do.
I feel I need to carry this with me, the remembering to appreciate rather than rush, and as I type this I know I have that best intention and then within a day or two, I’ll be rushing along my way and not taking the time to stop, enjoy and appreciate.
New Daily Mantra: SEA—Stop.Enjoy.Appreciate.
I can only hope I will be better at SEA-ing.
RIP Charles D. Holmes and Esme.... You are missed!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)