As a parent there are “moments” that floor you, ones that make you laugh so hard you start snorting (or at least I do), moments that take our breath away, moments that you will remember forever, moments that make you so very thankful every single day you’ve been blessed and moments that startle you and really make you reflect.
This story is one of those reflection moments.
Earlier this week, it was just B and me. We were on our way to the store for potato soup fixings and she asked me this:
“Mom, do all grown ups worry about being fat? Because I don’t want to be like that.”
It took me a moment, but then I asked her why she thought that. She proceeded to tell me that I along with at least 2 other women she knows constantly frets about being fat and we aren’t.... so why would we all be so concerned over it?
Well, you know I had just been talking about this... I mean, I took an awesome course on Sociology of the Body last semester... I learned so much, really loved the class, but obviously carried my weight issues with me all the way through without really considering what I was passing on down to my girls.
I don’t want my girls to look at themselves the way I look at myself in the mirror.
I wish I didn’t look at myself in the mirror the way I do.
So, as a resolution for 2012 and beyond (2 weeks late but better late than never), I will work to not be so harsh with myself, to appreciate the beauty that others see, and to say something positive about myself every day.
I’m not doing it just for me, though that in itself is a good enough reason.
The realization of the message I was sending to my children was startling, eye-opening and obviously much needed.
I’m so thankful that B speaks to me frankly and knows that she can always ask me anything. I’m glad she opened my eyes to what I do to myself and in turn, what I’m passing to them.
So here we go:
Positive Affirmation #1: I’m amazing... I have the tattoo to prove it.